Friday, September 8, 2017

THE NOWHERE-NEAR COMPLETE GUIDE TO ADVERTISING MASCOT SUPERHEROES : DRUGS!

Oh my god, let's get high and make mascots!

The pharmaceutical industry seems to live and die on superhero mascots, conflating the singular purpose and flawless heroism of costumed crusaders with the price-gouging and shortcut-taking which typifies Big Pharma. Actually, all superheroes are ideological lies wherein the rebel is actually the authority fink. Individualistic vigilantism in the name of law, order and the status quo is just the tyranny of the mundane and complacent. Enjoy your superhero comics, folks! Meanwhile, here's some heroes promoting the pharmaceutical industry!

Today we mourn the passing of Buddie, who crossed paths with Kevin Smith early this morning.

Buddie (ResponsibleOhio)
Creating, as it were, a significant buzz owing exclusively to his appearance -- and the argued inappropriateness of a Joe Camel-like mascot for cannabis legalization -- Buddie is an ill-advised, albeit obvious and hard-to-ignore mascot for the legalized/medical marijuana movement. Which is hilarious when you try to picture how someone who's totally fucked up on weed trying to walk.

If you wonder where I might fall on the question of legalizing marijuana, please recall that the last time we did this I agitated for Universal Basic Income. Also, I live in Seattle. Draw your own conclusions.


Samarium (Takeda Pharmaceuticals and the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America)
Marvel Comics actually designed the hero for this very specific symptom of the ailments described in the above name -- Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Samarium's super-power is nanite-powered armor, because that's how you cure IBD, I think. I don't know, it's hard to figure out these Marvel-made advertising superheroes. I'm still trying to figure out if Vapora was pro- or anti-misuse-of-gasoline.

PhrmaIntern (PHRMA)
I don't believe PhrmaIntern is a legitimate mascot, but I stumbled across her while researching this article and I'm delighted both by the MSPaint manipulations of old Supergirl art and also panels like this:



Irritabelle (Viberzi)
She's not a superhero, but I thought it was worth mentioning that the sexy, naked personification of Irritable Bowel Syndrome is named "Irritabelle." I learned that recently and wanted to share.

C'mon, you would. You know you would.

4 comments:

John said...

I can't figure out what they were thinking, putting her in that bodysuit that matches her skin tone. "Sexy IBS"? It looks weird and inappropriate (and not in a good way) every time that commercial comes on.

neofishboy said...

*checks Spirit Halloween website to see if Sexy IBS is going to be a thing this year*

Oh God ...

Nate Fancher said...

Well ... is it? I'm at work and can't search that shit on my own ...

Jonathan Morris said...

Take the risk.

Popular Posts