Friday, August 25, 2017

THE NOWHERE-NEAR COMPLETE GUIDE TO ADVERTISING MASCOT SUPERHEROES: FILTH AND TRASH (part 2)

Whoops, forgot to get to this one right after the first part. Also, I was gonna just reprint the original post as a joke, since so many of the originals were about recycling, but let's have me actually do my job for a dang minute.

Recyclaire (CBRE Inc)
The slightly naggy poster promotes ten common-sense techniques for reducing office waste, which is something that can also be done by eliminating most office jobs and instituting a Universal Basic Income. And for those of you who weren't expecting a political message in the middle of this paragraph, I present to you: Recycling. Ten years ago, Penn and Teller were kvetching about it on TV and your office blowhard was braying about it all being a scam. Now it's mainstream. Also, a handy way to get rid of office blowhards is to eliminate most office jobs and institute a Universal Basic Income. That's gonna get me to vote for it.

What I like about Recyclaire is that she comes with backup. Most recycling mascots just do it alone but check this lady out: Your crew is weak. Also, she seems to have the Silver Surfer and, I think, the Red Bee on her side? I'd buy this book.*

*With my Universal Basic Income.



SolMan (Ortiz Middle School, Santa Fe, New Mexico)
SolMan isn't technically a mascot for any recycling or alternative energy entity, but is rather the fucking amazing superhero design from the middle schoolers from the institution as described above. He's solar powered and has a disco ball cape, and is the coolest superhero ever. Oh my god, are those fans on his ankles? I haven't even gotten to the gas mask-lookin' thing on his face. What issue of Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol did this guy debut in, anyway?


Scout the Green Raccoon (New Braunfels, Texas Solid Waste and Recycling Dept)
Is that a name or an instruction?

I suppose a raccoon gets to be a superhero because he's got that built-in mask. It's thin gruel, but then again so are comic books, by and large. It's entertaining to think of why exactly you'd pick as, an environmental mascot, the animal most famous for rooting around in garbage and throwing used diapers and fast food wrappers along the street in front of any house which has yet to master closing the lid on your bin. This one, he uses his powers for good, I suppose.


Powermatt (Powermat)
There are two reasons I'm mentioning PowerMatt, and I think you can guess them both: His name is the same name as the company he represents, and the artist just straight ripped off the Superman/Kryptonite No More* cover.

*Lionel Hutz voice: "Kryptonite? No, more!"

If laziness were a superpowers, then this guy would be a superhe --- oh yeah, he is. Okay, that worked out. Anyway, that's about all I have on this guy, the easy out really stood out is all.






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